How about that for a gap! There I was thinking I'd have time to write something every few days. Alas, it wasn't to be. But maybe alas isn't the word I'm looking for here. You see the reason I have deprived you of my musings is that I have for the last few weeks become utterly engrossed in my work. I have been living in the mother of all bubbles but now I have managed to stumble out of it, weary and drenched head to toe in bubble fluid. I thought I'd say a little something about the bubble from which I have come, to salute it in some way. Camp Eagle Hill.
The day starts to music played over a PA system. No really, it does. And there's more, we then report to the flag pole where the Stars and Stripes are raised to the sound of yet more bugle music (America loves bugles. It's official.) and are honoured with a pledge of Allegiance from the half-awake children. To continue the cliche, we then all pile into a dinner hall whose walls are coated in the plaques from previous years' 'colour wars' (I'll get to these later) and stuff our faces with literally the most despicable food history has ever known. The cereal has 'candy' in it. The pancakes are doused in maple syrup and powdered with sugar. The 'OJ' is like orangey death squeezed into a cup. The entire meal consists of little more than discovering new and interesting ways of flavouring sugar.
Breakfast dispensed with, we clean our bunks. Herein lies a problem. You as a counselor are required in your responsibilities to ensure that the living area is tidied by your wards. Children do not like cleaning. They do not like it at all. They do not like it to the point that into order for them to be convinced of it's worth and necessity, verbal abuse and threats of physical violence of often required. They usually do as they're told, after a little hearty encouragement.
The day's activities pass quickly and usually without hiccups. I divide my time between instructing guitar and mountain bikes, which is sometimes as cool as it sounds and sometimes fantastically boring.
Lunch and dinner are unremarkable and that is all I shall say. Pizza and tacos get old when you eat them every few days.
'Tribals' and 'Colour War' are two events where the camp is divided into teams. Red and white for Colour War and red, white and blue for Tribals. These things are psychotic. I really can't explain them. Not only do you compete in sporting events against the other teams but you also compete in some far stranger ways. Here are some of the events:
- Dizzy Bat Relay: Each team member in turn runs out to a place on the ground where there is a baseball bat. They must hold the bat upright against the ground then place their forehead on the bat and rotate a set number of times. They must then run back to the starting position at which point the next member of the team begins. The team which gets all their members across the line first is the winner. The fun in this is watching people stumble and fall as they run back to the start. It's really rather cruel.
- Bucket Brigade: Simple. You fill up a big bucket with water from a little bucket. The little bucket is filled from the lake, approximately 40 yards from the big bucket. The little bucket must pass through the hands of every team member. However, there is a twist. The little bucket is filled with holes. The longer you take to pass it, the more water drains out. But the faster you pass it, the more water is lost through spillage. Once again, slightly cruel.
- Over-under relay: The team stands in a line. There is a basketball at the front of the line. The basket ball must be passed alternately over and under until it reaches the back of the line at which point the person at the back runs to the front of the line with the basketball and the process starts again. This is repeated until each team member has completed the run from the back to the front. The team that gets through all of their members first, wins.
- Apache relay: A giant event composed of a massive number of events occurring in relay. Events include juggling, fishing, crab-walking, making a bed, scoring a goal from the halfway line and running blindfolded. The relay ends with the lighting of the fire for 'rope burn'.
- Rope burn: The teams have set up a fire 10 feet above which is drawn a rope. Upon the completion of the Apache relay, the team may light their fire. The first team to burn through their rope, wins.
- Sing: Basically, throughout the entire colour war, the teams have been competing in singing and chanting. I would compare it to ill-refined cheerleading. The chanting and screaming culminates in an event on the last day called 'sing'. The teams must write new lyrics to existing songs. A panel of judges vote on which team has performed better.
- Team plaques: Each team selects a small group of artists who create the plaques that are later hung up in the dining room and in other locations around the camp. The plaques are presented on Sing night and are judged immediately after the singing.
I'm just going to go ahead and say this; I love this camp. All the nonsensical traditions; the trays that we are required to carry our food on and then asked to immediately disregard as soon as we sit down; the, at times, terrifyingly stupid children; Mike, the head of maintenance, who sounds like he breaths coal dust instead of air and the lake which at it's clearest could be described as 'murky' all coagulate into a place where little dreams come true every day.
So thank you, Eagle Hill; all the kids, who were a pleasure to instruct; all the staff, who were a pleasure to work with. I had an unforgettable summer. A thousand pages wouldn't do you justice.
